Money Practices, Sexual Functioning

For the most part, you may ?nd relief in the fact that couples probably have a more dif?cult time answering your questions about their sex life than you have asking, which makes your comfort with this aspect of couple functioning all the more important. In the ?rst interview, you may or may not get a chance to ask about sex, and in addition, when you do ask, you may get a quick “Oh, ?ne. We’re ?ne in that area.” Later, after more trust has been established, very different answers to questions about sexual functioning may surface. What matters is that you ask about sexual functioning, compatibility, and satisfaction in a natural, caring way.

Money

Although easier to ask about than sex, money is often a dif?cult issue for couples. Questions about money practices include who pays the bills, whether checking accounts are joint or separate, if there is agreement with regard to saving and spending, and so on.

By evaluating how couples manage money in their relationship, interviewers may also glimpse how power is managed in the relationship.

Level of Relationship Commitment

Only a minority of couples enter counseling because they simply want to improve their relationship. They arrive excited and interested to explore ways to increase their relationship satisfaction, and are fully committed to continuing the relationship. Other couples come to counseling to repair or work on certain troublesome areas in their relationship but have not seriously considered ending the relationship. They are committed, but are experiencing signi?cant distress. Still other couples come to counseling with a marked imbalance in their commitment, with one deeply questioning whether to stay in the relationship and the other desperately committed to keeping things together.