Try the following activity to start accepting that your body can give you pleasure. When you have the night alone, all to yourself, take a long bubble bath with candles around the tub. After you get out of the tub, spend time drying your body, and applying lotion or powder. Then lay down on your bed naked, and touch your body all over. Massage your feet, your hands, and your shoulders.Stroke your breasts, your waist, and your thighs. Enjoy the feelings of touching yourself. At this point you are not masturbating, just touching yourself.
4. Learn to relax and breathe.
When you’re alone and naked, lie down, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing. Take ten deep breaths in and out. While you are doing this, imagine that you are in a safe, beautiful place. Feel every part of your body relaxing, from your toes to your fingers to the top of your head. Remember what this feels like, so you can call on this relaxed feeling anytime.
5. Masturbate without a goal.
Some women have never had an orgasm because they have never masturbated. Now is the time to learn to masturbate to feel good. First, find at least 30 minutes when you can be alone. Then repeat the relaxation, breathing, and touching exercises that I just described. Then begin masturbating. Touch your clitoris in a circular motion, and insert a finger in your vagina; massage the entire area. Touch your breasts, or neck, or legs, or anywhere that feels good. At this point do not think that you are masturbating to have an orgasm. Just do it to become familiar with the pleasurable feelings that it can bring. (For information on many more ways to masturbate, check out Chapter 10.) 6. Masturbate with a goal.
