Once mastered, you have the freedom to improvise within those rules. As with any other skill, the process of mastery may seem laborious at first. But gradually, you reach the point at which all the rules, attitudes and techniques have been internalized and everything will start to flow. At that point, you won’t be thinking or struggling or even doing. You will have returned to the simple state of being you. That is when you will have reached wu wei, not doing, as in Chapter 3 of the Tao Te Ching: Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.

In the end, keep in mind what all of this is about. Ultimately, the secret to a successful, fulfilling life is loving relationships. If the journey is the destination, then let every step of your journey towards relationship mastery be imbued with love. When you encounter obstacles, be like water